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  冬日的一个中午,我和他偷偷溜出公司,去了他家。当我和他正缠绵时,忽然一个高大壮硕的女人进来了,她指着我的鼻子问我是谁?不等我回答,我已经猝不及防地挨了她一个耳光,我的头嗡嗡直响,眼冒金星,一阵周身麻木。她一把揪住我的头发,把我从热被窝里揪了出来,然后把我推倒在地上。他用最快的速度穿上裤子,拉着他老婆的手说:“我跟她只不过是玩玩,我永远爱你。”

  大学毕业后,我来到深圳,在一家广告公司做策划。漂泊在外的日子,心情就像纷飞的柳絮漂浮在这个城市的上空而无法降落,无所依附。所幸租住的小屋很温暖,我可以在夜晚蜷缩在被窝里,任思维东碰西撞。


  佳顺是公司新来的业务主管,四十多岁,脸上的皮肤较粗糙,显得挺有男人味。那天晚上,老板请全体员工去酒店吃饭,酒席上大家谈笑风生,我插不上话,默默地饮着白酒,坐在旁边的他用菊花茶换下我杯中的白酒,,又关切地看我一眼,说:“女孩子喝太多酒会伤身。”我感觉自己的心动了一下,很突兀地动了一下。

127养生之道网 美女高管陈怡 和几个中年女人的故事 他把我按到沙发上强吻

  有一天下班后,他约我去他家坐坐,他说他老婆不在家。我明知这是一个陷阱,但我还是去了。我想看看那是一个什么样的陷阱。刚走进他家,他就一把抱住我。我紧张得一动不能动,也不能喘气。天完全黑透了,房间里没有开灯,就像真正的深渊一样黑暗。在慌乱和强烈的罪恶感中,我体会到了从未有过的快乐。

  我忘了是怎样穿上衣服,怎样走出他家的门。那天阳光很灿烂,回家的路变得那么长,我走啊走,却似乎总也走不到家。在阳光和人群中,我有一种光着身子走路的耻辱感。接下来我被公司开除了,我几乎足不出户。我躲在房间里,窗帘拉得严严实实的,既不开灯,也不说话。我的生活变成了一望无际的黑暗。我很想死,我把我能想到的死的方式都想了一遍。我在想象中让自己死了一遍又一遍。

  我一点也不介意他有老婆,我想爱情是不需要任何表现形式的。当然,如果能体面地占有他的身体和名分,那就更好了。有时,我也会问他什么时候可以娶我。他把我搂在怀里,要我再等一年,他会想法子离婚的。

  可是,我依然忘不了他,依然深爱着他,每天盼望着他能来看我,能打电话问候我。我给他发短信,发了五百多条,低声下气地请求他再爱我一次。他没回音,他像汽水一样从我的生活里消失得无影无踪。这让我很绝望,我想爱是比死更残酷的一件事。在经历过爱的刀刃与火焰,遍体鳞伤、绝望窒息的我真的渴望能够平静地死去。

  接下来的一个多月里,几乎每隔几天,他都会约我吃饭、喝茶、聊天。他有家室,他说他是在父母的逼迫下才娶了他老婆,他跟她没有感情。


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